Guys, this is how the wedding is starting to make me feel. See that nice woman in the foreground, wearing white Keds with her red sweatshirt tucked into her shorts, who somehow has no idea that there’s a massive F4 tornado with my face on it about a half mile behind her? That’s you. Or my mom. Or B. Or the cats.
Hi wedding, can I have my life back? I think about you all the time and it’s making me do things like snap at my mom for innocently confessing that she doesn’t really like the idea of wearing cowboy boots with a wedding dress. It’s also seriously cutting into my quality kitty time because I’m constantly researching things on the Interwebs—venues, dresses, birdcage veils, cakes that looks like honest-to-god, real-live tree stumps—instead of rubbing soft cat-bellies.
I mean, seriously.