I'm getting gay married

Wow. Thank god for episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, like the one where the bride is forcing her trillions of horrified bridesmaids to wear fur muffs (“the theme is ‘Winter Wonderland,’ and I, uh, wanted my dress to look like snow! Like, all the different textures and layers…”). I suddenly feel about a billion times better (and more intelligent). More like a lazy Midwest summer breeze than an F4 bride-nado.

And, everyone keeps saying “white muff” over and over.

It’s amazing.